Is Sex More of a Task than Pleasure?

Did that leave you in thoughts for a while? If so, its human and happens with most of the people around us. For most of the married couples, sex becomes more of a task at some point in life and pleasure takes a back seat.

Most of the married couples would confide in saying that sex has become more of task for them. And ask them why, pat comes the reply because their partner wants sex and they just can't say 'no'. This situation is more common with women. After few years of marriage, they loose interest in sexual activities resulting in either a disturbed married life or just stretching their married life. When talking about women, you cannot rule out the possibility for the same for men. Many men also get bored of sex and make love just for the sake of doing it for their partner.



Why Does Sex Become a Task

Its more of Forced Sex Most of the Time - Thats the actual cause why it turns out to be a task. Anything that is forced on you tends to become a task that you need to complete. It happens so with sex too. Amongst married couples, initially sex is forced on woman by the man. Any woman does not like it and hence what results is a forced activity that becomes a task for her.

Monotony in Sex - Lack of knowledge about sex brings in stagnation and a major cause to loose interest in the same. Everyone likes excitement, pleasant surprises and a sense of newness. Sexual activities carried out in the same way without any thrills actually make it monotonous for many.

One of the Partners is More Demanding - Pleasure takes a backseat in sexual activities when either the male or female has a bent for sex. Though its not forced sex, but if one of the partners becomes more demanding, the other has to at times indulge in sex unwillingly.

Sex is Just Not About Intercourse, There is More To It - And that is foreplay and afterplay. Its important as it keeps the excitement level high. One needs to be involved in some or the other kind of foreplay rather than bumping into each other for intercourse. And post intercourse, afterplay is also vital. This helps in building a strong bond between the couples and keeping the fire alive.

Responding to Body's Physical Needs, Despite of Shortage of Time for Each Other - Every man or woman's bodies have their needs that need to be satisfied. That is the case in many couples. Though one does not have much time for each other, it becomes almost necessary to fulfill sexual needs of your own body. Shortage of time then leads you to spend less time with your partner. And then makes making love a task for you.

Marrying A Mumma's Boy - Save Yourself

Don't blame me for this judgement, but its just a thought that deserves a thought. The other day I met a friend of mine, she seemed worried and moreover disturbed. We chatted for a while and it was only then that I found out the reason behind her long face. It was her husband and his undeliberate behaviour that were giving her sleepless nights. My friend was married merely six months ago and to have a disturbed married life so soon was actually a pain.

It was difficult for me to understand her problem that time, but back home while I thought over the situation, It almost made me muddled. Being a Mama's boy is not something to be defied, but what is bad is being one completely. For men, things like this can be normal, but through a woman perspective, it is quite depressing. If you are a man, try being in women's shoes to understand the following situations.

Mom's the World, No Space for Wife or Girlfriend - That's 100% true for any of Momma's Boy. He can see nothing beyond his mother. Then why the hell did he get married? Sexual needs? That's all. Such men deserve to be sent to brothel. Mom should be the world for one and all but a wife too needs Her space in your heart.

A Momma's Boy Won't Move A Step Ahead Without His Mother - He needs to be spoon fed. Parental consultation is appreciated but to some extent he needs to stand up for himself and take his decisions. Such men are actually dumb and lack the sense of self respect.

If At Home, Spends Most of Her Time With Mother - A married momma's boy is difficult to handle. The worst has to be faced by the wife. On a holiday or on weekend, he spends most of his time with his mother. What is the wife supposed to do when he is busy with his mother.

Words That Make Her Smile

Most of the women I would say are simple at heart. One does not need to do much to please her. A small gift, a smile, a rose, a greeting card are few small things that would easily help you take her heart away. But this goes without saying that you need to be genuine and have true feelings for her. While all these cost atleast a few bugs, there is something that comes completely free. And that are - words, beautiful, charismatic and effective. Here are few words that will surely charm her.

• You Have Made My World Beautiful
• Your Voice Rings A Bell Inside Me Somewhere (now please don't go on to say where)
• I Can Do Anything For You
• If I Knew You Would Bring So Much Happiness In My Life, I Would Have Fallen In Love With You Long Before
• Being Around You Fills Me With So Much Energy
• I Wanna Grow Old With You
• You Are Most Beautiful Women I Have Ever Met & Could Ever Imagine
• I Am All Excited To Tie A Knot & Spend All My Life With You

Words as is said are the most powerful tool one can possess. Apart from those three magical words, try few words woven with your emotions. Say those words to her and just watch them cast their spell around ...

Sarcasm In A Relationship - Keep It At Bay

Your relationship is at stake, if you involve a lot of sarcasm in your talks. Men have a lot of ego that is basically woven into their nature. No offenses to anyone, but they have this habit of commenting sarcastically on everything around.

If my views are to be taken into account, then sarcasm is one of the few things that will surely put an end to a relationship. Though sarcasm is just a form of commenting on anything rather than joking, it has more of negativity involved when used in a relationship.


Men though do not mean much when they pass a sarcastic comment on their partner, but at the same time it is also true that they hardly realize the impact of their words. For them, it might be a joke but it's possible that person on the receiving end might not like it resulting in rise of repercussions. Taking instance of a married couple, often the husband enjoys giving a witty remark on his wife's parents. While some women have learned to take it easily, others get hurt.

Being just a sneering or cutting remark, I do not say sarcasm should not be a part of life, but definitely one should watch their words and MORE THAN THAT THEIR TONE of saying anything sarcastically. After all your relationship might be at stake.

Anger - The Last Word in a Relationship

Short tempered by nature, I have had the taste of loss in a relationship due to my anger. Being in a state finding it difficult to control my anger, I have often paid the price for it.

Talking about anger, its important that we speculate and find out the reasons behind our anger. Below are the few reasons that actually disappoint boys and girls and irritate them to the extenet of getting angry.

• 'No' to AnyThing of Desire
• Rude Behaviour of Partner
• Acceptance And Later Denial of Anything
• Preaching of the Partner
• Ignorance

Patching up After Fights

It's difficult for some, whereas easy for others. But what counts at the end of the day is that it should happen - patching up. Couples married or unmarried find it extremely difficult to patch up after fights.

At times, its the ego between the individuals, at times the situations. Here is how you can patch up with your spouse after fights. These are tried and tested waysw that have really worked, at least for me. I am sure these will work for you too.... Here they go..

When You Have Fought - Just Keep ur Ego Aside - Try hard not to involve this three alphabet letter to have a room in ur relationship. Ego between couples can be dangerous.

Say Sorry - Just Say It - sorry is the simplest and the easiest way that will help you patch up with your love of life.

But Initiate - But remember to initiate as this is important. This will help you gain respect in the eyes of your partner. God Firbid, if you fight again, next time your partner might be saying sorry to you first.

Forget Your Grudges - Don't waste your time in speculation and grudges. Whatever misunderstanding you have, whatever problems you face, just forget.

Once Fought, Do Not Let The Fight Stay With You - Couples often fight and then do not talk for hours. Its common and was the same case with me too. When I used to have fight with my boyfriend, I remember not talkingto him for hours and even days. But thanks to boyfriend, I learnt how not to make the fights serious and traumatic. He is a darling and always advised me that we should keep our fights aside. And thats his piece of brain that I am offering as an advice to everyone.

I do not say that you should forget the reason for the fight, rather you should forget the fight and behave completely normal. Just be yourself, as if nothing happened. Trust me, this will make your relationship a special one..

Bored With Him, Yet in Love - Start AFresh

Me and my boyfriend have been in love for the past four and half years. Despite the fact that we almost fought 24 hrs on telephone, we were madly in love with each other. But there was a time when we were almost bored of each other. Boring telephonic conversations, blame game, rifts and sleepless nights, that's all we were left with.

Though an unmarried couple, we never flirted with each other or ever wanted to freak out with each other. There had been instances when we were on verge of break up, but could not because we simply DO NOT WANT TO. At the same time, we wanted to feel the taste of happiness and contentment. This was when me and my boyfriend decided to Start Fresh on Our Relation. A few changes that we adopted to were boon in disguise. Here is how we started fresh to nurture OUR Relationship..

We Began Ignoring Each Other's Mistakes - That laid the cornerstone of rejuvenating our relationship. We followed the mantra -"To Forgive is Divine" and did not pay much heed to small mistakes.



Kept A Day Exclusively for Each Other - A day for each other was kept aside. We almost tried to spend the day hours together. We chatted, shopped, exercised, ate and laughed with each other. Swimming together and sharing jokes was what both of us loved doing.

It Was Time to Say Bye to Longish Telephonic Conversation - Phones though are the best way to remain in touch. But often, telephonic conversation lead to mis-communication. It happened with us also. Unable to see each other talking and the expression, we often misunderstood each other and has a fight. Therefore, cutting down our telephonic conversation short was a great idea.


We Dined Together Almost Thrice A Week - We are neither married nor are in a live-in relationship. Both of us just stay miles away from each other. Therefore we planned to eat together at night. Since it was not possible every night, we chose to have our dinner together on every alternate day. Dining together did wonders to our dying relation. We discussed everything face-to-face and trust me it was better than talking on phone.

Developed Interests in Each Other's Interests - Being very different from each other, we had different interests. To understand each other better and respect each other choices, we carefully observed each other to find our interests. I love reading English novel and interacting with people. And he loves music, dancing and sleeping.

It was completely a joyous feeling to explore others interests and learn something new. He read several books and chatted with my friends. I definitely reciprocated by listening to his favorite songs, joining dancing classes and definitely sleeping for long hours. Today, we agree that it gave us immense pleasure to do so.

All our efforts paid. And here WE Are - Smiling, Sharing, Relaxed, Energetic, Flirtatious, Passionate and definitely not Bored..

His One Liners That Disturb Me The Most

Women are soft by nature. Though they can easily handle some serious issues, it might not be the same with something minute. Even a rude gesture or unexpected refusal on an trivial matter may disturb her and take away her peace of mind.

Women get disturbed mostly with badly framed sentences, especially one liners. If you were to ask a man about any of his one-liners that he thought might be disturbing him, he would be clueless. Or he might just say that he never said something that bad.



That's why I thought it was always better to ask women. And this what some of the women answered on being asked - "what is your boyfriend or husband's one-liner that disturb you the most?" Pat came the replies, that are -

-> His All-time Favorite Remains to be - "So Now I need to take even my decisions according to you."

-> Hard to Hear - " I was never like this before." He almost seem to say that I have made his life a hell.

-> "Teach and Preach Only After You get A Degree for It."

-> "Don't You have Another Work Left."

-> "It's None of Your Concern."

-> "Why Do You Keep Scolding me All the Time? Am I a Kid to be Taken Care of?"

-> "It's Not Possible For Me, Ever."

-> "You Have Been Dominating Me for So Many Years."

-> "Why the Hell Did You Do that? I am Happy With My living Style."

-> "Why Will You Care About Me? Who Am I?"

-> "You Will Never Understand me?"

When men say these lines or something similar, very little do they think about its effect. Wish they realized.... !!!

Forget Your Grudges On Weekends

Ever wondered why do we have Weekends? Yes the obvious is that we need a break from work and some rest at home. But what's more important is that we remain at peace. Life is too short for quarrels and rifts. While we spent most of our time running around and its almost human for all of us to behave rudely at times....We understand ..But weekends are not for such pity things ....

Wasting Weekends - there are couples who do not realise the importance for these days. they spend time fighting over trivial matter. Some even go to the extent of referring to some arguments that happened long ago. Why waste your weekend that way?? lets bygones be bygones...

Stop The Blame Game - Throwing the ball in others' ceourt is easy. It feels worse when you are at home in solace and your partner blames you for frivolous things.

Misunderstandings to be Understood Later - Stay together at home and you have a lot of free time..there are chances that any of the partners starts a heated coversation. But make sure you do not waste it in clarifying any misunderstandings.

Add More Energy and Zeal to Your Relationship on Weekends - Bond together with your spouse or your sweetheart and make the most of it. Give him & her loads of hugs and kisses. Snuggle each other, smile, laugh and make her world around a lot merrier for yourself...

Enjoy your Weekend...They Are Precious.

Get Into Her Shoes This Saturday

Your darling puts in so much effort to make your life simpler and has made your life beautiful with her presence. While surprises are common for you from her side, Just go out of the way do something different for her. Make her feel special this saturday.

Just give her a break - make her relax. She must be tired of managing things alone...let her sit at home and enjoy this weekend, while you manage the home for her.

Take Her Out For Special Weekends - Its been long that both of you travelled for long or spend some time tohether. Plan few days ahead or almost spontaneously. Take her to her favourite place or go spend some time in country side.

Try anything, I am sure your wife or girlfriend will love any and all of them....Give her a Treat This Saturday. Just notice the change in her, See your love blossom and spread its fragrance around.. Enjoy!! :)

Make His Weekend Special

Love amongst couples is not just about making love. Its more about geling with each other!! If you feel the charisma between both of you have been lost somewhere, then its time for you to ignite some spark. And since its a friday, you have all the time to rejuvenate him with your love. So just make the most of this weekend and set his pulse racing...

Shed Your Inhibitions - He is your soulmate, why leave space for any inhibitions. Forget the world behind. Your passion for him will definitely reflect in all your moves and efforts.

Give A thought On What He Likes - Sit quietly for few minutes to recap on things that he liked or still has interest in. It can either be anything under the sun.

Look Sexy - Dress up in a sexy evening gown. Pay special attention to your make up. Keep it light yet sparkling. Choose a dress that looks best on you. He is sure to go mad again after you.

Decorate Your home With Candles - When he comes home this Friday evening, give him a surprise. Let the electric bulbs and chandelier be switched off. Lighten every corner with beautiful candles. Beautiful lighting is an easy way to attract your husband's attention.

Make Him Feel Nostalgic - If its been long that you had a look at your wedding album together, this is the best time. Sit with him, when he relaxed. Photographs have the power to turn any and everyone nostalgic. Try recalling some beautiful memories and share them with him. Just notice the smile on his face. Your magic is working on him.

Lie Down in A Bathtub With Him - Before he is home, get the bathtub ready with fresh cold water. Add some rosewater and rose petals to it. You may also add some mild and refreshing soap gel to the water in tub. When he has come back home, eat together. Post dinner just lie down in the bath tub with him. Spend some time together enjoying the romantic moments to fullest.

Most of the time, our hectic lifestyle eats up all the pleasures of life. Make sure the huff and puff does not affect your relation with your spouse. Small efforts in relationships make a huge difference...Think of Something That would Excite Him This Weekend and will make it Memorable for Him for Lifetime....Happy Weekend....

Reasons Why Husbands Change After Marriage

In the previous post, I quickly ran over some of the common problems or moreover behavioral issues that wives face with their husbands post marriage. Now, it would be completely biased if I do not throw some light on the husband's condition or you can say on the reasons behind their behavioral changes. Here is what the husbands have to say in defense to these complaints and allegations.

Sex has Taken A Back Seat - I know it is only the second thing after compatibility that keeps a couple happy together. But definitely sex is important for both the partners. Our sexual life is almost at stake as she never seem to be interested in it. We almost sleep apart and my wife does nothing to seduce me. I have always been co-operative and soft about sex. But still wonder what has made her say no to sex?

Lack of Excitement - One of the husbands believed that it is not his behavior, but more of his wife's behave that has changed after marriage. She seems to be too cool sans any excitement. Earlier she was a power woman always ready to greet you and new challenges with a smile. Now she seemed to be so boring. Where has the excitement gone?

She is Always Shabbily Dressed - Her beauty and dressing sense was what I lost my heart on at the first instance. Look at her now, she is always in her old night gown and her hair is always untidy. I gift her the best of dresses every now and then, but they are all piled up in her cupboard. Doesn't she know men love pretty women and she was one. I love her still but her attire and looks doesn't make my heart pound.

Television Soap Operas Are All That She Talks About - Intelligence was her virtue and pre-marriage she almost left me fumbling for words in any kind of debate & discussions. I loved talking to her on anything under the sun. What is left for now is just mere stupid daily soaps. She watches them day and night and if she talks she discusses them with me. God, save me.

No Time For Me - Wonder, what has made her so different. She has become one of those women who gossip whole day in neighbourhood or on phone. If she is left with anytime apart from back fence talking, her household chores keeps her busy. In just a few months of marriage, she does not find any time to spend it with me.

I Too Need Space - People, I was and I am still an individual . Why does she blame that I spent time out with friends. I never asked her to seclude herself and not meet her friends. I need some space where I can hang out with friends. I love to spend some time with my old friends and I guess there is nothing wrong with that. My wife needs to understand that.

He Is No More The Man Whom I Married !!

She burst into tears to say - "You are no more the same man I married." I heard Mr. Federer sharing his personal problem to his friend. He went on to say that his wife is almost prepared to give him divorce and he was unable to discover what is wrong with him. Mr. Federer said, "I am still the same, what has changed? I love her so much, I work so hard to give her and our kids all the comfort of life."

Well, this scenario has become common amongst couples worldwide. No one knows much about it as why and when it happens or happened. Women are blindfolded in love and as a matter of fact even men are. But as the time passes post marriage, things change and so does your relation with each other. Over emotional by nature, women are most affected with their spouse's behavior.

When in love in early days of dating, every woman feels that her man is the just the perfect choice for her. But few years or at times few months after marriage, she sees a new face of the same man whom she thought she knew very well. There is a sudden change in husband's behavior, likes and dislikes. It seems that she has now faced the reality and ends up on - He is not the man I Married. What made her say that? Question is provocative but what are the answers? Read on to find out what complains women often make post marriage. What is it that she thinks has changed? Here are few common & uncommon clamors and complaints of wives to their husbands.


He Listened Patiently To Me Earlier, Now He Just Walks Out of the Room - He was different when we dated together. He made sure he heard to my each and every word seriously. What has gone wrong now, he doesn't want to listen to even the most important matters. He just walks away from the room.

I was the First Person Whom He Said Good Morning To, Now he hardly Says that Ever - Before we tied knots he called me every morning to say Good morning while he was still on bed. I do not remember him waking up without wishing me good morning. At times he kept sleeping till the evening as my mobile phone was out of network and he could not wish me good morning. That was one of his way special ways of expressing love to me. Forget about good morning, now, he doesn't even bother to say 'bye' while leaving home for job.

Was a Mad Lover, Always Wanting to Spend Time With me. Now He is Hardly Around Me - I never knew it would happen and that too so early. He is always out of home for work or with friends partying all night.

He Never Missed a Chance to Be Close to Me When We Were Seeing Each Other. NOW? - Its almost depressing to admit that he has changed so much. No Hugs, No Kisses, He Seemed to have lost interest in Me.

He was My Chocolate Man, Wonder What Went Wrong - I am completely in love with chocolates. That was how he impressed me. He brought chocolates for me every day in different packings. Honestly it was this attribute for which I lost my heart on him. We have been married for an year now and its almost 11 months that he even brought one for me. My Chocolate Man has melted.

Hmmm.. with so many complaints and moreover dissatisfaction amongst the wives, remaining the same guy as ever seem to be almost mandatory. But why do the husbands change post-marriage? What do the men have to say about this? Stay tuned to find out the reasons for their behaviour.